Co-Sleeping - Is It Safe?

As humans we are Carry Mammals. What that means is we are designed – like apes and kangaroos also – to carry around our young. There are several reasons for this, the main one being that we are born physically immature, we are unable to hold our own heads up, let alone walk! We also require frequent feeding (this is to do with our breastmilk makeup), warmth and physical contact which means that from an evolutionary perspective, we were designed to be close to our parents for a longer period of time than many other types of mammals (for example follow mammals like giraffes).

What’s that got to do with co-sleeping? Over time we’ve heard ‘experts’ tell us that we need to let baby ‘cry it out’ in a separate room and be ‘independent’, we’ve also heard others tell us we should never put our baby down and only ever co-sleep. The reality is that extreme pressure of any kind isn’t particularly helpful and there’s a lot of misinformation out there. Instead, I hope to share evidence-based information with you so that you can make you own choices based on the information and what does or does not feel right for you and your family.

Generally speaking, the safest place for a newborn to sleep is in the same room as their parents in their own cot or moses basket, on a flat, firm surface with nothing loose. The reality though, is that many parents end up co-sleeping even if they don’t plan to so it’s important you know what it is and how you can make it more safe.

As with most decisions, there are some benefits to co-sleeping. One of the biggest benefits is that it can make breastfeeding easier because you can respond to your baby quicker and you can feed them whilst laid down which means your nights may also be more restful. Mums who breastfeed and co-sleep tend to breastfeed for longer than those who sleep separately.

As well as the breastfeeding benefits, it’s also a comfort for baby and often for you too. We know that touch helps to regulate babies. Because of this and how quickly you’re able to respond to any cues, babies tend to settle more quickly in the night when they are co-sleeping and getting more rest and sleep is surely a good thing for parents too!

If you’re considering co-sleeping it’s vital that you know the guidelines for how to do it more safely. When following the guidelines correctly, there are fewer risks involved (we will discuss them later). If you co-sleep without following the safety guidelines the risk of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) increases dramatically.

So, if you want to share your bed with your baby make sure you and your partner are meeting all of the following criteria:

• Neither you or your partner have been drinking alcohol

• Neither you or your partner smoke or use e-cigarettes (even if you never do it at home)

• Neither you or your partner have taken any drugs or medication that can cause drowsiness

• You’re breastfeeding

• You have a healthy baby (full term and didn’t have a low birth weight)

• Baby lies on their back

• The surface is safe (a flat, firm surface with no loose blankets or extra pillows etc)

• No Sweat (baby shouldn’t be swaddled or wearing a hat)

• Baby lies next to the birthing parent (not in the middle between parents).

Remember that sleeping on sofas or armchairs with your baby is also dangerous and the risk of SIDS increases significantly when doing this so if you’re going to fall asleep with your baby, it’s much safer in bed which is also why, even if you don’t plan on co-sleeping, it’s a good idea to familiarise yourself with these safety guidelines.

Beyond the safety guidelines and risk of SIDS, there are other things to consider:

Sharing a bed with your baby may affect your sex life. Some couples value having their bed as a space for themselves – even beyond sex – so it may be a difficult thing to navigate depending on your dynamics and how you both are as individuals but also as a couple.

A wriggling baby can also take some getting used to so those first few nights might be a bit more restless.

Ultimately it’s your decision and there isn’t a right or wrong answer, it’s about being informed, aware of the risks and benefits and going with what feels right for you and your family.